Skills I Have That Will Never Get Me Anywhere

HEY Y'ALL!

You know those people that are good at pretty much everything? Even the stuff they've never tried before? They're all like "Oh, I don't know, I've never shot a basketball before..." and then they're like:

BAYUM!

Anyway, those people suck. I am good at like, maybe 3 things that I can actually apply in my life. But I also have some mad skillz that will never get me anywhere in life. They go a little something like this: 

1. Miniature golf. I am the putt-putt champion of the world. OF THE WORLD. Ok, that actually hasn't been determined, and I'm pretty sure I would lose to some cray cray Asian that has been training hardcore since she could walk, but still. 

What a jerk.

2. Wiggling my ears. This is my go-to move for those lame "Get to Know You" games where you have to say your name and tell an interesting fact about yourself. People go crazy for some ear wiggling!

3. Picking things up with my toes. Is there a job that lets me do this all day? My toes could be like the crane for some construction company! Yeah! Life=planned.

Hellooooo, job security.

4. Popping bones in my body. If I get on a roll it sounds like a chubby kid rolling on some bubble wrap up in here.

5. Dance Dance Revolution. Do you guys remember this game? It was kinda weird and strangely addicting. I got it for Christmas one year and actually got pretty good at it. I don't really remember what happened to it...But it's probably for the best that I don't still have it or it might have consumed my life with its catchy Japanese music and bright colors.

P@P@R@ZZi B3 @LL UP 0N M3 WHiL3 i PL@Y Mi DDR

So there you have it. These are the skills God blessed me with...for...whatever...reason...Be jealous.